coexist.

the love i’ve had and have given,
i give them all to you
it was childish to be afraid of something so divine
i was wading in cold water
waiting for a reason to dive right in
and darling
you’ve given me all that i could have wished for

do you ever wonder what it’s like to touch the edges of the universe?
cause i’ll give that to you and so much more
and when you’re afraid to move beyond this space
i’ll find new constellations for you to look up to

sweetheart
i think i’ve traced infinities on your back
wrote love letters down your skin
left promises on your lips
made it seem like eternity exists
and when you’ve grasped onto the fear of losing yourself
i only hope to loosen your fingertips
and hold them against my own

if i could keep you with me
wherever place i go
i would do so in a heartbeat
because i wanna see how far this goes
and where it’ll end up
i’m sure this road will be neverending
because i’ve felt forever
in the way that you hold me
especially at night when the lights are low
when the moon is up
and the only thing to judge us is the darkness
felt it in the way
your kisses make me feel holy
the way your fingertips make me feel
like i’ve been cleansed of all my sins
darling
i could live a hundred lives
and still fall in love with the way that you smile
still wish on the stars that you would catch me every time
and know this is all worthwhile

and if you asked me if i love you
i’d tell you
we coexist like the sun and moon
i’m only brighter when you’re around
and baby
i think
i think i’d love you as long as the sun’s in the sky
and promise to love you much longer than that

inspiration.

give me an excuse
to write all types of poetry
be my muse
the source of all my
love and chaos
the epitome of all that is
right and wrong

i would take you everyday
carve out your name
on my skin
as if you were a mistake
waiting to be made

give me a chance
to show you
all my potential

i can trace your promises
on the stars up above
and when i have nothing to look up to
i’ll remember your words
were etched in forever

and you’ve come across
my universe
like a shooting star
so rare
i almost didn’t catch you

fall for me
like raindrops on a california sky
arrive unexpectedly
but always welcome in my arms

i could build a throne for you
create castles in the skies for you
remember you
when i look at the moon

i have crossed oceans for you
trying to find homes
in places i did not belong
find me on the shore
give me a reason to
love you like i’ve never loved before

fear

i have a fear of earthquakes
that one day i’ll get caught up in one and i’m all alone
i’m afraid that i’m going to get crushed by the ceiling
that i’m going to be crying out for help and no one’s going to be there to save me
i have a fear of the ocean
even though it calms me sometimes
i’m afraid that one day i’m going to be swept away by the tide
and not be able to swim back to the shore
i have a fear of drowning
i’ve been close to it numerous times before
and i now i get panic attacks whenever i’m in the deep end for too long
i love flying
but i have a fear of airplanes
i’m always afraid that one day it’s just going to disappear
or fall from the sky and no one’s ever gonna hear from me ever again
i’m afraid of a lot of things
but i think the one thing i’m most afraid of
is losing you
because i think i can stomach
earthquakes, the ocean, drowning, and a free-falling airplane
before i can stomach the thought of not having you in my life

coexist.

the love i’ve had and have given,
i give them all to you
it was childish to be afraid of something so divine
i was wading in cold water
waiting for a reason to dive right in
and darling
you’ve given me all that i could have wished for

do you ever wonder what it’s like to touch the edges of the universe?
cause i’ll give that to you and so much more
and when you’re afraid to move beyond this space
i’ll find new constellations for you to look up to

sweetheart
i think i’ve traced infinities on your back
wrote love letters down your skin
left promises on your lips
made it seem like eternity exists
and when you’ve grasped onto the fear of losing yourself
i only hope to loosen your fingertips
and hold them against my own

if i could keep you with me
wherever place i go
i would do so in a heartbeat
because i wanna see how far this goes
and where it’ll end up
i’m sure this road will be neverending
because i’ve felt forever
in the way that you hold me
especially at night when the lights are low
when the moon is up
and the only thing to judge us is the darkness
felt it in the way
your kisses make me feel holy
the way your fingertips make me feel
like i’ve been cleansed of all my sins
darling
i could live a hundred lives
and still fall in love with the way that you smile
still wish on the stars that you would catch me every time
and know this is all worthwhile

and if you asked me if i love you
i’d tell you
we coexist like the sun and moon
i’m only brighter when you’re around
and baby
i think
i think i’d love you as long as the sun’s in the sky
and promise to love you much longer than that

lucky

i’m thanking my lucky stars
that you fell into my life
i apologize in advance
if i ever let you down
i promise
i’ll never do you wrong on purpose

inspiration.

give me an excuse
to write all types of poetry
be my muse
the source of all my
love and chaos
the epitome of all that is
right and wrong

i would take you everyday
carve out your name
on my skin
as if you were a mistake
waiting to be made

give me a chance
to show you
all my potential

i can trace your promises
on the stars up above
and when i have nothing to look up to
i’ll remember your words
were etched in forever

and you’ve come across
my universe
like a shooting star
so rare
i almost didn’t catch you

fall for me
like raindrops on a california sky
arrive unexpectedly
but always welcome in my arms

i could build a throne for you
create castles in the skies for you
remember you
when i look at the moon

i have crossed oceans for you
trying to find homes
in places i did not belong
find me on the shore
give me a reason to
love you like i’ve never loved before

favorite.

from my
list of
possibilities
you’re my favorite

favorite.

from my
list of
possibilities
you’re my favorite

To you

I’m sorry if I’m frustrating or if I’m too much too handle. Honestly, I can’t even handle myself. Sometimes I think too much and I can’t help but see things in a negative light, but I promise I’m trying not to think that way anymore.

I never want you to think that I don’t appreciate you or that I don’t care for you or that I don’t love you because I do. I know in my heart that I would do so much for you. I care for you so deeply, and I wish I could tell you and show in every way possible how much you mean to me, but I know that that’s impossible. If I were to lose you tomorrow, I wouldn’t know how I’ll ever get back on my feet and I know for sure I would never be the same. I never thought I’d ever get to this point in my life where I would dedicate so much of myself to someone else because, honest to god, I’m a selfish person and I only ever cared about my own happiness and wellbeing over anyone else’s. Cliché but it all kind of changed when you came around, and I’m not entirely sure why. It all just made sense, I guess. Suddenly I wanted to give you everything and try with you and make you happy. And I guess sometimes I act up and get upset because I feel like I’m not doing much or that I’m not being appreciative enough of all that you do. I know that I’m afraid to lose you. I wish I could tell you everything that scares me about relationships, but even I’m not entirely sure why I feel a certain way sometimes and I guess that’s why I get even more frustrated and mad at myself. I just don’t ever want you to think or believe that I’m mad or upset at you or that I’m blaming you for something that I’m feeling. I swear to god that I’m trying to avoid putting you at fault for anything because you’re not. I promise you that I’m trying my hardest to be more positive, to try harder to love you and make sure that you know that you are loved.

I think one of my biggest fears in relationships is feeling like I’m not doing enough, that I’m not loving someone enough. A guy that broke my heart before had wondered if I even did love him and it shattered me. I guess this is why I’m trying so hard with you because I don’t want you to feel the same way. I don’t want you to think the same thing that he did. I don’t want you to think that I don’t love you because I know I do.

You’ve given me so much light in the small amount of time that we’ve been together; I feel so much richer having you around. I promise to be better to and for you, to tell you how much you mean to me all the time, to show you my appreciation whenever and wherever.

You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I would never want to make you feel any less than you are. You deserve so much more than you were given before.

I love you to bits

and I hope you know that.

x jaya

faith

have faith in me
especially on days i feel like the world is giving up on me
sometimes the cup feels empty
like the ocean dried up
said i can’t have any more to fill my cup full

would you still love me
on days i don’t want to see the sun
when getting up is too difficult
my muscles gave up
trying to push my bones back up

will you have enough
to love the both of us
on days my heart feels empty
my soul feels barren

will you have faith in me
until god feels like i’m worthy?