march 12, 2017 12:33

hello me in the future.

i just want to give you an update of what’s been going on this past quarter. it’s week 10 of winter quarter of your 2nd year of college. you’re currently dating someone who you’re really into and who’s equally as into you and it’s pretty fucking great. who knows where this is goin but all you know is that it’s only been a month in or something and this feels good. like not even a little puppy love typa thing, but more like a “damn i got a good one and he’s someone i wanna try with” typa thing. like it’s literally only been a month but it feels like y’all have been together for a loooong time typa thing.

and maybe the difference between this one and the last one is you know how much you can give to someone, how much  you can love someone, how far you’re willing to go and how much you’re willing to sacrifice for someone. it’s different because you’re no longer that dumb, selfish, immature teenager fresh out of high school that doesn’t know what she wants from anyone.

and it’s weird. cause you didn’t even want to be in a relationship this year. partly because you were afraid of getting caught up with someone and messing them up and messing yourself up. but with this one, there wasn’t even any hesitation on your part on whether or not you would let yourself fall – you kind of just did and you have no problem with it whatsoever.

to whoever else that’s reading this:

you deserve someone who cares for you and loves you regardless of all your little flaws and insecurities. you deserve someone who looks at you like you’re the damn world and you deserve someone you can look at and be confident that they love you as much as you love them. it’s about wanting to grow with someone and to cater to their happiness, not to their needs. it’s about being able to lose grip on that fear of not being in control of your feelings, of being afraid of having feelings. it’s about taking all those risks and hoping they’re in the same position as you. nothing’s better than having someone to ride the tides with because having done that by yourself multiple times before has been exhausting. but this time it’s different.

if you had the chance to fall again, would you?
my response to this: yes. a million times over.

x a 20 year old in love

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