Still up, but I just finished reading through all my posts on here, and I have this stupid, little smile on my face.. Why? Because I have become so self-aware. So conscious of my mind and of my body, and I love it. You know what’s weird? Just yesterday, I was scrolling through my tumblr archives circa 2009, I would always rant about how much I hated that it seemed like no one cared about what I went through.. I always craved that attention.. But here I am, seven years later, and I can finally say that I. don’t. care. I don’t care if nobody cares. All I know is that I care about my own problems. That I’m learning from all my mistakes. I’m learning all my flaws and all of my faults, and I’m embracing all of them. I’m learning how to love myself for myself because I don’t need anyone else’s opinion to dictate how I live. I love myself and I love how much I’ve grown. I’m still sitting here with a grin on my face, because, damn, does that feel really good to say.
If no one’s proud of you, older jaya (& reader!), 19 year old jaya is super, ridiculously proud of you. i love you no matter what.
x 19 y/o jaya