I said, “Don’t fall in love with the moment.”
She said I’ve got a lot to learn
– She’s American x The 1975
You’re probably going to read this maybe tomorrow, next week, next month or five years from now, and whatever 7/26/16 you is going to write about at this point in time is probably not going to be relevant at all in the future, but I think it’s important to remember that everything you’re going through, no matter how small and petty it may seem, is incredibly important. I repeat: everything you go through is important and relevant at some point in your life. Yes, when you re-read all the crap you’ve written before, you probably won’t even remember who you’re talking about or what even upset you at the time. It’s actually really amusing because then you realize that the problems that you stressed about before don’t even matter in the future, but that doesn’t mean that they weren’t important, you know?
Just a couple of hours ago, I was reading through my old blogger that I created back when I was a freshman in high school. I’m about to enter my second year of college and though freshman year was only five years ago, it seemed like an eternity has passed. Honestly, reading through all my rants and poems and just random pieces of writing made me cringe. Half the time I didn’t understand what I was writing about or who I was addressing, but I know for a fact that everything that I write about, whatever that may be, is important because they matter. I don’t write about anything that doesn’t matter to me, that doesn’t affect me in some way.
I’ve been itching to write, and I envy my younger self for being so openly vulnerable to the world. I don’t think that it’s anyone else’s business what I go through, but I’m at this point in my life where I don’t mind if people are going to judge me for what I write about. It is my life, my story, and I want to remember every little thing that this little body of mine feels because in a few years I’m going to be a different person, shaped by every experience the universe throws at me, and I won’t be able to remember what 20-year-old me was feeling, so why not write about it now?
So, to 21, 25, 30-year old me: this is your 19 year old self readying herself to share her story, no matter how tiny, to the world. You’ve got a lot to learn, but each and every day you’re learning about yourself and the world and that’s important in itself.
Remember to stay positive and to find the light in everything. There’s too much bad in this world, don’t add anymore to it.
x 19 year old Jaya